i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
