Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You can't special order awesome
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
