My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
