She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
