He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
last night I used snow as a chaser
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
