I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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