I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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