it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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