just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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