How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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