i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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