sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
