She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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