Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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