And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
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Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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