and you said cock pushups were impossible
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
