coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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