well you can't waste a boner
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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