just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
