I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i now understand why vodka
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
