what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
40s are totally the cure
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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