Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
