So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
