He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
