My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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