yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
