Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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