Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
