I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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