Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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