I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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