she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think your dad took our porno
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
