What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
