Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
