So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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