just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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