I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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