This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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