the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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