The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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