guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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