Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
