he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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