His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
