ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
