how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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