i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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