Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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