take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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