**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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