Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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