Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
