Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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