So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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