So drunk its hurt
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
