Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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