Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
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He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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