Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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