K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize