you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize