oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
