Define "chronic" masturbator.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
