NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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