He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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