you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
